Sex For Life

One great aspect of men growing older is that they become slightly less obsessed with their own sexual arousal and need for sexual release. Now that his own need for orgasm is less pressing, my partner is able to focus on my arousal and can bring me to orgasm through using a combination of anal and clitoral stimulation.

As a young woman I was never conscious of my own physical arousal and my body appeared to be almost innert to any stimulation from my partner. Sometime around my mid-thirties, I found that my body went through a remarkable change – it was as if my body blossomed sexually.

Even intercourse became more sensual due to increased natural lubrication (still no arousal though). From time to time, my mind gets turned on now and I am conscious of the pelvic area behind the external clitoris being swollen and physically aroused (gross but true). For the first time, I was able to enjoy my partner arousing me via manual stimulation of the clitoris.

These physical orgasms are different to those I get from masturbation when I use sexual fantasies. They are often intensely pleasurable but the increase in heart rate and breathing as well as the sense of releasing sexual emotions with the subsequent relaxation are all missing.

“Orgasms vary, both between women and for the same woman at different times. We experience different qualities of orgasm depending upon the degree and kind of stimulation we receive and also on what is going on in our minds.” (p76 Woman’s Experience of Sex 1983)

Experts sometimes try to reassure women by suggesting that orgasm is unimportant. Unfortunately, once a woman is familiar with orgasm from masturbation, she tends to assume that the whole point of sex is the sexual pleasure of orgasm (just as a man does). It is only women who are unfamiliar with orgasm that think it is unimportant.

Female orgasm is important not only because women today want to justify their participation in a sexual relationship but also because men want their partner to be turned-on by sex. Men will only enjoy the best sex once women are given the information they need to enjoy their own sexual pleasure. Lack of orgasm represents a dilemma for many modern couples.

Men’s need for sexual reassurance

I told Bruce, the sexual psychologist I went to see, that in over twenty years of investing in my sexual relationship, the only orgasms I have experienced are from anal stimulation. Bruce, quite evidently thinking that I was being overly particular, asked unsympathetically: “So what’s your problem?”

“Anal intercourse is no longer considered to be abnormal and is enjoyed by many homosexual and heterosexual couples. As long as the decision is mutual and without coercion or guilt, most professionals believe that anal intercourse is simply another way for a couple to find pleasure with each other.” (p12 Dictionary of Sexual Terms 1992)

Perhaps other less adventurous couples, who have made do with intercourse over decades, are more adept at using sexual fantasies. Perhaps other men accept a ‘lie back and think of England’ partner and use affairs to spice up their sexual fantasies. My partner wanted a lover who was positively engaged in sex and I have always considered faking to be humiliating. Some women do explore sexual pleasure, like myself, in order to keep a marriage (and family) together simply because men hope a lover will enhance their sexual arousal so that they can enjoy sex fully.

A man in his sixties, suffering from prostate cancer, was worried that he might not be able to continue to have sex. He was so depressed about losing his ability to become sexually aroused that he felt, without sex, life would not be worth living. Male sexuality, including sexual arousal and orgasm, represents not only a man’s masculinity but also his emotional foothold on the world. A long term sexual relationship provides a man with a strong sense of emotional well-being and fuels his ability to succeed in the otherwise emotion-less world of men.

Why a Booster Belt is a Must

Kids always think they do know what they are doing. They feel like they’re old enough to take the booster seats instead of the child’s seat. But evidences suggest that older kids who remain contented with booster seats until such time that they become the size of a small adult are less prone to injuries.

Studies show that less than 7% of the twenty million children in U.S. from ages four to eight take the booster seats. This statistic is a frightening one considering that around 500 children from that age group get into car accidents every year. Furthermore, injuries are pegged at thousands more. Experts say that these injuries and death can be prevented if people would only know to use these booster seats right.

If a child is made to use safety belts for adults too soon, chances are that the child’s internal organs be injured once the belt rides up and slices into his stomach during a car crash. If the shoulder belt is put behind his back, his torso can forwardly jackknife thereby increasing the chances of getting injuries in his head and abdomen. Around 80% of the passengers four to eight years old involved in 30,000 car accidents were improperly secured by safety belts that are adult- sized. Sadly, the results of these car accidents were tragic.

Why a Booster Belt is a Must
Children’s use of seat belts for adults will more likely cause injuries to them. Parents should never know how painful it is to lose a child; especially that death and injuries can be prevented.

The Simple Solution
Booster seats elevate the children’s seat to secure them properly in the adult belts. They are recommended for children weighing 40- 80 pounds and are used for the vehicles’ back seats that have 3- point shoulder belts. Remember that children that are 13 years old and below should never take the front seats with air bags. Once their height reaches up to 4’9″ and their weight to 80 pounds, children can already use the back seat’s adult belts.

These booster seats can be purchased at any major department store and even at websites or superstores carrying products for children. You can also ask suggestions from the car’s manufacturer or from an insurance company about where you can buy booster seats around your area since some companies even special promos offering these booster seats at a lower price of even for free.

Playground chasing
Have you noticed that at school playgrounds, 6- year old girls group themselves together and chase around one boy who seems to be having fun in this playground chasing?

This phenomenon can be explained in such a way that kids of this age explore relationships with peers as well as their place in their group in the form of play. From being family-oriented, they suddenly become peer- oriented.

Playground chasing is one way of exploring friendships and of flirting at a very early age. When they reach the school age, girls group themselves into cliques-and one activity solidifying their position in the in-crowd is to chase boys. In playground chasing, girls formalize their being a member of the clique at the same time pleasing their interest about boys.

Kids in kindergarten or first grade often chase around for the boys that they like. But when they get older, this dynamics change. The boys will usually play basketball or soccer during recess time while the girls join in their game or play among themselves.

School is one place where children explore a part of their personalities that they do not show when they are at home. They also develop all sorts of relationships. Playground chasing is one way of expressing their sides that they only show when outside the school.

If you notice these kinds of behaviour in the playground, avoid interfering unless the boy being chased finds the attention uncomfortable, or unless you see that there is a possibly that someone might get hurt in the game.

Doc Love’s “The System – The Dating Dictionary” on Male Archetypes

If you study Doc Love’s THE SYSTEM – THE DATING DICTIONARY, you will find that it describes four male archetypes:

  • Wimp
  • Macho Boy
  • Gentleman
  • Gigolo

And each archetype has such a unique description, which can make you wonder how men can be so different from each other! Well, a careful analysis reveals a certain pattern, which is what I will describe here.

A man’s psychological attitude can be analysed in several dimensions/spectrums, and I will focus on two such dimensions for now:

  1. The Sensitivity Dimension: You have a SENSITIVE guy on one end of this spectrum, and a CALLOUS guy on the other.
  2. The Attachment Dimension: You have a FAWNER on one end of this spectrum, and a CHALLENGE on the other.

Using this method of analysis, the archetypes can be summarised as follows:

  • A WIMP is a SENSITIVE FAWNER.
  • A MACHO BOY is a CALLOUS CHALLENGE.
  • A GENTLEMAN is a SENSITIVE CHALLENGE.
  • A GIGOLO is a CALLOUS FAWNER.

Sometimes you meet a woman that tells you she wants a sensitive guy, and keeps complaining about what a nasty jerk her boyfriend is! All her friends know that she’s with the wrong guy and tell her to break up. She also knows “intellectually” that she deserves better. But no matter how much she complains, she somehow cannot “get herself” to leave him!

And when she actually does encounter a sensitive guy, she is likely to cry on his shoulder and complain about her boyfriend for hours together. The sensitive guy keeps asking (or should I say “begging”) her to give him just one chance! He promises to treat her like a princess and do anything to make her happy. The woman is touched and moved by his sincerity, but still finds that something is missing. She cannot really describe what it is…but somehow, she feels that she just can’t respect him. She also doesn’t feel “attracted” to him! She actually feels MORE attracted to the jerk she complains about!

And the next day you meet another woman, whose boyfriend is the sweetest guy in the world! He treats her with the utmost respect, frequently buys her gifts and flowers, tells her several times how much he loves her, forgives her for everything, puts up with her put-downs and is always ready to apologise whenever there is a conflict between them.

Her friends tell her that she has the best thing going for her, but she is somehow not happy with him! And no matter how hard he tries to please her, she always find something wrong with him and criticises him for it!

If you are a student of Doc Love’s THE SYSTEM – THE DATING DICTIONARY, you can easily tell that the second woman’s Interest Level in her boyfriend is very low. And it is very likely that she would soon dump him for someone else!

Now, I have heard these stories HUNDREDS of times over and over again! And I’m no longer amused by these things, as they have become too much of a chiche!

But it wouldn’t surprise me if it gives you the following impressions:

  • Women are so stupid and illogical
  • Women hate guys that are nice to them
  • Women like guys that treat them like trash

Well, nothing could be farther from the truth. And I’ll tell you what the real truth is….

  • Macho Boys are attractive NOT because they are abusive jerks, but because they EXHIBIT challenge.
  • Wimps are repulsive NOT because they are nice to women, but because they LACK challenge.

A woman that is good-looking but has a low self-esteem is drawn to Macho Boys. She harbours a subconscious belief that she does not deserve to be treated well, and the Macho Boy provides her the perfect validation for her beliefs. (He treats her like trash….but she definitely likes the sex eh?!)

And I have NEVER found a woman that feels “attracted” to Wimps at a primordial level! A Feminista that has a low self-esteem might stick around with a Wimp for a long time, but it’s NOT because she is attracted to him. It’s only because she’s looking for someone to dominate and use like a punching bag….and the Wimp makes the perfect candidate for this kind of abuse. (Eventually even the Feminista would leave him for a tougher guy, but that’s a different story.)

Doc Love’s THE SYSTEM – THE DATING DICTIONARY teaches you how to strike a proper balance by becoming a GENTLEMAN that treats women well, but also displays CHALLENGE at the same time.

And women that are self-reliant and have a high self-esteem (the desirable women) are ALWAYS attracted to Gentlemen.

Hope you found this insightful…..Good luck in the Dating Jungle, my fellow Spartan!